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Holy sh*t! This one glorifies misogyny too!

My son and I have a common interest, and that is music. He loves listening to old English and Malayalam songs from the 80s and 90s and I’m really proud that I inculcated this habit in him right since he was a baby. I’ve spent hours in the NICU singing these songs to him and continued that at home too. That’s “our” thing!

The other day I sang the Malayalam song “kavilinayil kunkumamo” for some reason and he insisted on watching the original video. So we played it on YouTube. Here’s the link, if you’re interested; Kavilinayil Kunkumamo (4K Video) - Vandanam Malayalam Movie Song | Choice Network (youtube.com)




While watching the video itself, he asked me, “Isn’t he actually harassing and stalking the girl?” And I remember thinking, holy sh*t! He’s actually right! 

We have grown up watching Bollywood and regional music and movies where the boy harasses and irritates the girl, but eventually the girl falls for him. These are movies and songs we have loved and still laugh at! But I know now that these scenes and portrayals have actually instilled such a wrong idea of romance in us! Growing up with the idea that “if a boy is mean to you, he likes you” has left our generation to doom! 



Many of my friends asked me to review “Animal", because the subject is right up my alley. But I refused to write one because I’ve already reviewed Kabir Singh and there wasn’t much to add. I have to admit that I’m one of the shameless ones who actually watched the movie Animal just to see how far he has gone this time! If Kabir Singh was about hurting others for his girl, here the director has masked hurting the girl herself, as love. I’m all for “keep the art separate from the artist”, so I will not blame Ranbir Kapoor here. In fact, he has done a commendable job in this movie. But I will never show Kabir Singh or Animal to my son because no matter how much the director tries, these can’t be justified under toxic masculinity anymore!



But my son’s question actually had me wonder if these are the only movies, I should keep him away from? This subtle romanticization of stalking and harassment of women has been going on for ages in umpteen number of movies and series. The only way I see is to always remind our children, when watching such things on screen, that fiction is different from the real world. Any girl or boy you pursue, make sure that is only with their consent. If you like someone, by all means say that to tem, but if they don’t reciprocate your feelings, you stop right there. Thinking you can actually stalk and sing your way to his/her heart is absolutely wrong! Our parents didn’t teach us this, but at least our generation should support informed parenting.

Cheers to such moments when your child becomes your teacher and pushes you to think beyond normalization and limits. I love every bit of this parenting journey!


 

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