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Please do not glorify misogyny and 'Kabir Singh'!

It wasn’t a surprise when my old time friend reached out and asked me to review Kabir Singh. She definitely wanted my “feminism” hormones to be triggered.

I’m not sure where to start with Kabir Singh. It was a massive hit in Telugu, but since it didn’t reach maximum audiences, the director decided to make it a far reaching Bollywood movie too. What motivated him to do this is no mystery. It’s money.Period.

But what motivated all of India to make this movie a commercial success is beyond my understanding.

Kabir Singh is like India’s ode to misogyny.

First, Kabir likes this quiet homely girl (Another one found only in fiction). He doesn’t propose to her and doesn’t need her consent either. He decides he loves her and she by default has to reciprocate the same feelings! There is a dialogue in the movie that roughly translates to “You’re nothing but just Kabir’s girl.” To which the girl replies “Yes you are right and I’m only yours!” Unbelievable man! We are in the 21st century and are still rooting for such heroes!

No..Kabir Singh is not a hero.

Let’s ignore the misogyny for some time, but this guy even body shames! In a scene he tells his ladylove to come sit in the front and to become friends with a fat girl (who again is picked by him). And then comes the golden words that will go down in history “Fat chicks are like teddy bears. Pretty girls should always be friends with fat chicks!” Absolutely cringeworthy!

Time and again movies have shown stereotypical obsessive, possessive and controlling boyfriends who love their girl deeply and no one should look at her or touch her. If they do, they’ll get hit and also she’ll get hit, Simple. Problem solved!

Until a few years ago, I liked such men, on screen too. Then my husband called out my dual feminism. He asked me would you ever marry such a guy in your real life and I realized that is so true! We have grown up watching such violent and toxic behavior being romanticized in movies and we wish for someone so madly in love with us that we totally ignore the reality that the other side of them, their toxic behavior can actually be dangerous.

The romanticization of abuse must be stopped on screen. Else, men will continue to think it’s absolutely okay to hurt women and women will continue to think, this is a form of love too.

Statistics prove that most of the serial killers or abusers and criminals have had a troubled or abusive childhood. But have you thought over, why boys coming from a normal background and childhood end up being abusive in their relationships? It’s because it’s shown as a normal, manly thing to do on screen.

At least the next generation must be saved from this on screen portrayal of toxic masculinity. Please keep them away from such situations and movies that condition their mind into thinking that abuse is cool!

On an average, 24 people per minute are victims of rape, physical violence or stalking by an intimate partner in the United States — more than 12 million women and men over the course of a year. This has to stop. Our mentality has to change.

If you as a man don’t respect your wife and help her with chores then your kids who are growing up observing you will think this is normal. Your son won’t respect or help his future wife and your daughter will never walk out of an abusive relationship.


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