One thing I’m often asked is how I’m able to smile through everything. I smiled everytime my son had surgery. I smiled when I had a stroke. I smiled through my rehab. Heck, I’ve even thrown a party with my son’s friends right before a major surgery he had, because I knew the next 2 months were going to be hell. It’s not that I haven’t cried, I’m human too..and a very sensitive one at that! But I’ve only cried alone behind closed doors. And it’s not just me, many many people are like me. Strong mothers, strong fathers, many! These are everyday heroes we fail to recognize.
I personally don’t like the way I handled my son's birth and his initial NICU stay. I’ve cried bucket loads in the hospital in front of people and the doctors. Well, I guess that was a terrified 24 year old girl. It’s almost 10 years now. I’m now matured enough to know that if we like rainbows, we must brave the rain!
This is what I’d like to tell you today. If life is tough and the moment you wake up you feel sad or dread waking up and starting your hustle. Change. Change yourself or the situation. And if that’s not possible, suck it up and accept it!
I’ve been practicing something for ages and I didn’t know this was a thing until recently I read it in an interview by Priyanka Chopra.
I never go to bed angry. If I do, I wake up in a bad mood. So I kiss my husband goodnight even if we’ve had an argument. I kiss and apologize to my son if I have scolded him that day. I know many mothers, including mine, apologize to and kiss their child after they’ve slept. What’s the point there? Neither your child can sleep happy nor can you because that isn’t a real confrontation.
My husband sometimes teases me that instead of just keeping quiet, I talk to my son explaining to him what he did wrong like he’s a grown up. But never underestimate the power of communication. I don’t know if my son understands today. But someday, he will.
Talk things out and in the end you can smile. If you don’t like what you’re doing. Stop. Start doing something that will make you happy. If you are confused about choosing something or deciding something, follow this Rumi quote which I treat as the gospel truth of my life; “Your heart knows the way. Run in that direction.”
A lot of our decisions may not make sense to others. Well.. it doesn’t have to! I was a different person before my son was born. I had this strong need to be accepted by everyone. To make everyone happy and say good things about me. Must be a thing of the 20s. But I’m glad I’ve completely shed that urge for good. And post stroke this badass behavior has grown stronger.
I do what makes me happy no matter what. I take decisions that make sense to me. Even if it's an emotional one, I am satisfied it is something I’ve wanted and I chose. And this is the reason I’m able to smile through anything.
Once you realize that nothing is permanent, not even your current situation, you empower yourself to face anything.
I was 10 or 12 when I gifted my mother a wall art for her birthday that said, “Smile. It costs nothing!” And this is the quote I’d like to leave you with too.
So, the next time someone asks you how you do it, just smile!